• I started capitalizing and using proper punctuation when I type.. sort of.  Haha.. the capitalizing, yes.. not so much the punctuation part.

• I worked a little over ten hours today.. granted, a little more than an hour of it was spent in the company gym. 

• My farts have been rather potent lately.. not sure why.. but I think something inside of me is rotting.. because it sure smells like it.

• Vitor Belfort and Anderson Silva? Whaaaaaaaa?!

• I will be in Vegas when the Machida vs. Shogun fight happens (wish I were in California during this time ) -- I'm going to put money on Shogun because the odds on him are wayyyyy better.. even though I know Machida is going to whoop him.. no point in putting my money on him since the payout sucksssss.

• For the first time.. in over a decade, I will be dressing up this Halloween.  I present to you.. my sexy costume:

 

• I was at Wal-Mart today and some 50+ year old woman had the word "orgasm" plastered on her shirt.  Lovely.  You gotta love Wal-Mart.

• My company revoked our retirement plan.  BS!!! Granted, we still have our 401k.. but.. still...

• Is it worth it to buy a heart rate monitor for my cardio workouts?  Anyone?

• Who's going to win tonight.. Kimbo Slice or that fat guy.. Roy Nelson?? Kimbo and Rampage make a lovely couple, don't they?

i finished my cardio session at the gym.. my headphones were still plugged into the machine (each treadmill has its own tv).. my ipod and keys were still resting in the little compartments. i headed over to the back and grabbed some paper towels and the spray. as i was walking back to my machine, i see a little boy with my headphones in his ears.. fidgeting around with my ipod.. i tap him on his shoulder..

'excuse me, this isn't.....' he immediately took out the headphones and slammed himself to the ground on the other side of the treadmill.. he then placed himself in a fetal position. i kneeled down to make sure he was okay..

'hey, are you..' he wailed and jumped up as though he had seen a ghost.. then proceeded to run out the exit...

hmmm.. it was probably because i was asian.

the master cleanse was a complete failure. i have much respect for anyone who has enough will power to last through the first day. that thing is intense.

2:50pm.. just got home from work.

so i set my alarm clock this morning to get one last vigorous workout in.. but i failed to wake up. i packed all the ingredients and tools so i could make it fresh when i got to work. i made 20 oz of the lemonade today.. the recipe is set for 10 oz.. so i just doubled everything. when i arrived to work, i went to our gym and weighed myself with their scale so i have a starting point.

i started off with my salt water flush.. i chugged all 32 oz of the mixture at my desk.. within two minutes, i had bubble guts. my stomach started growling.. and i ran to the restroom. out came the junk.. i pee'd out of my butthole for a good three minutes..

i got back to my desk and proceeded to go on with my day. i sipped the lemonade here and there.. but only managed to consume about 12 oz total so far. i had to urinate a few times.. the first few times, i was urinating out of both holes which wasn't very pleasant. i guess it's working?

i also went for a walk (hills) on my lunch today.. i'm friggin hungry right now.. my biggest regret is that i didn't eat everything and anything that i wanted to yesterday.. the day before i started. i also should have started this on a monday because my weekdays are way more structured. sigh. i will be sitting at home all weekend. woe is me. hah.

that is all for now.

today, i went and purchased all the necessary ingredients for the master cleanse. i bought the actual book last year on amazon.com.. had the intention and desire to start it.. but never got around to doing it.

grade b maple syrup.
a crapload of lemons.
water.
juicer.
sea salt.
cayenne pepper.

i'm going to do the salt water flush after my workout tonight. this should be interesting. from what i know of, i will be peeing out of my butthole. yay. i guess i'm not supposed to do this until tomorrow morning.. but i'm going to do it later tonight.

few things here that i will be rebel against... organic lemons. no, thanks. i bought regular ol lemons. 8 for $2.

filtered water.. i bought a big jug of water.. i don't know if it's "filtered"..

organic sea salt.. negative. mine is plain ol' non iodized sea salt.

they recommend keeping a journal of some sort during this whole "detox".. so here i am. in all honesty, i don't care about the detox itself, really. i'm more focused on the weight loss.. i know people say you'll end up gaining it all back.. and that this isn't supposed to be used as a "diet".. but whatevers. i'm sick of torturing myself at the gym every friggin day/night and not seeing the results that i want. hopefully this "detox".. "cleanse" or whatever will do the trick.. it will force me to stay away from unhealthy, fattening foods.. and when i am coming off of it, i will have no choice but to eat moderately and restrict the foods that enters my body.

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10:30pm.. i started to have bubble guts so i ran to the bathroom.. was on the toilet for approximately ten minutes.. peeing out of my butthole. it took about two hours for the saltwater flush to work.. but nonetheless, it worked.

tomorrow shall be interesting.

happy 09.09.09

i was watching some show on msnbc last night.. "caught on tape" was the topic..

this woman had an elderly, disabled father who could not care for himself. so she moved him into her place.. but she still had a daily job to attend.. so she hired a nurse to stay with him.. feed/bathe the father. anyway, her instincts were telling her that something was wrong. i think the father had a recent stroke and could not speak.. so she was unable to ask him if anything was wrong. the daughter set up hidden cameras in her house.. and had a viewing station in the basement..

the first few weeks she watched and reviewed.. nothing wrong. the nurse treated her father well. one day, she was downstairs as the nurse was with her father. all of a sudden, the nurse starts punching the disabled man (who is laying in a hospital type of bed).. just lifeless.. then she proceeds to slap him in the face.

what the.... so the daughter contemplates whether or not she should run upstairs and confront the nurse.. or just call 9-1-1.. seriously?!!? i would be up there in a heartbeat and knock that effer out cold. wow, why would anyone abuse a helpless person like that??? i don't understand. and why would you just sit and wait for the police to show up? i mean, granted.. you have the evidence on tape and she is going to go to jail.. but no friggin way would i let her walk out of my house unharmed. i would have to a least break her nose......

i went online to confirm my jury duty summons.. then they gave me an option of postponement.. woot. so i don't have to show up until feb 2010. hopefully by then, i will have a legit excuse. hah. i am not registered to vote.. why was i picked.. damn it.

oh, snaps.. tomorrow is 9.9.09.. i want to be married on 10.10.10..

all you friggin people viewed my last post (yeah, i saw the footprints), but didn't leave any suggestions.. thanks a lot..