June 28, 2007
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the best monologue ever written.. edward norton in the "25th hour"..
"Fuck you and this whole city and everyone in it. Fuck the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back. Fuck squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a fucking job! Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores and stinking up my day. Terrorists in fucking training. Slow the fuck down! Fuck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35. Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English? Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafe, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin` and dealin` and schemin`. Go back where you fucking came from! Fuck the black-hatted Chassidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds!
Fuck the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gecko wannabe mother fuckers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for fucking life! You think Bush and Cheney didn`t know about that shit? Give me a fucking break! Tyco! Imclone! Adelphia! Worldcom! Fuck the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst fuckin` parade in the city. And don`t even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, because they make the Puerto Ricans look good. Fuck the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, and their St. Anthony medallions. Swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos. Fuck the Upper East Side wives with their Hermes scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You’re not fooling anybody, sweetheart! Fuck the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don’t want to play defense, they take five steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the fuck on!
Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust! Fuck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child`s pants. Fuck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. Fuck OsamaBinLaden, Alqueda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fueled fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal, Irish ass! Fuck Jacob Elinski, whining malcontent. Fuck Francis Xavier Slaughtery, my best friend, judging me while he stares at my girlfriend`s ass. Fuck Naturel Rivera. I gave her my trust and she stabbed me in the back. Sold me up the river. Fucking bitch. Fuck my father with his endless grief, standing behind that bar. Sipping on club soda, selling whiskey to firemen and cheering the Bronx Bombers. Fuck this whole city and everyone in it. From the row houses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue. From the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho. From the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park slope to the split levels in Staten Island. Let an earthquake crumble it. Let the fires rage. Let it burn to fucking ash then let the waters rise and submerge this whole, rat-infested place."
word up, e.
Comments (25)
Who the hell is this shlub? You could do better.
really? he looks weird...
i look weirder though
that was so hard to read. it was one paragraph. 3000 characters and one paragraph.
that monologue was awesome.
And I think you need to get laid. LoL...j/k
okay, these pics don't do him much justice.. but trust me.. he is foineeee.
hah, i'll break it up in paragraphs. my bad.
I admit. He is a handsome devil.
25th Hour is one of my all-time favorite movies! That was indeed a great monologue. It perfectly captures exactly how I feel sometimes.
and i thought my picture would be on there hmph! LOL
Ooh. The eyebrows are a little distracting. o_O
And that is one awesome monologue. I <3 Edward Norton.
i creamed myself when i saw his pics too! hubba hubba! so sexy.. err just kidding
25th hour... awesome rant in the mirror... love that movie
that movie rocks, my favorite part is when he makes his friend punch him. PUNCH ME MAKE ME UGLY YOU BASTARD!!!
okay I don't think that was the line, but you get it.
fuck the press fuck the world life goes on when you die
fuck the judge fuck the court and every bitch that lied
The funniest part of the rant was the part about the basketball guys, because it's actually true...haha!
And so is this the online crush you keep talking about? Hmmmmmm?
they have such a monologue about LA? hehe
Hahahaha. Spike can make good movies.
I can only imagine what he looked like before he had his eyebrows waxed O.O
Talk about a monologue. It's pretty much fuck everybody except the average, normal, everyday middle-class white american that nobody remembers.
And you just need my love? LIES! You're a korean woman!
he's taiwanese and japanese. clearly prime genetic make up.
who that?
he's korean and white! =]
this is my future husband, dennis.
^Future Husband?! I guess I can settle for "mister"ess. Little afternoon delight perhaps before heading home to the husband? BTW sorry to disappoint on the pics. Maybe next time. =p
agreeed! he's beautiful. great monologue. ed norton is definitely one of my fav's. selma can't ever do better.
Wow, makes me miss NYC!
I wonder who the writer was....
Funny how he didn't attack the acting mecca of Broadway...see how the entertainment world protects each other? =)
Thank you =)